I have this neighbor, with lots of tattoos, short spiky hair, smokes cigarettes, dresses like a dude and has a hard look on her face all the time. She reminds me of the girl with the dragon tattoo.
Anyway, I get some major negative vibes from her. Every time I walk my dog, I see her walking hers too. She’s never said “hello” and neither have I-All good.
About a month ago, I could have sworn she seemed annoyed with me for not having my little 10lb dog on leash. I was ASSUMING she was pissed off at me for not following the rules. She had hers on a leash.
When her dog was done doing his doggie duties, she walked towards me but then avoided the sidewalk. Instead, she got onto the street then came back on the sidewalk after she passed me.
I thought for sure she was avoiding me and that pissed me off. I felt so offended.
I quickly followed her to the gate where you have to punch in a code to get in. Once the gate opened up for her, she walked on in and didn’t bother to hold the door open for me.
Now I was fuming. As soon as I walked into my front door I began venting to my husband that this woman in our building is, well, you know, not so nice words were used to describe her.
My husband was surprised I had such a negative reaction and was finding the whole situation quite comical.
Ever since then, I’ve had my guard up when I see her and, every time I do, I feel a negative energy inside of me. It feels like I get bogged down and, honestly it takes work to get riled up like that and be pissy with someone. A waste of energy if you ask me.
Anyway, this morning I saw her again while taking my dog out to potty. She was out doing the same.
Then to my surprise…she walked over to me and said, “Hello” in a very sweet voice.
Huh? Wait a second….I was confused….
Why is she saying hello to me? Why is she being nice? This goes against all that I ASSUMED about her.
Whoa….could I have been that off?
I guess so. I began laughing at myself. She then explained how sometimes her dog gets aggressive with small dogs and is afraid of him biting others. And, this whole time I ASSUMED she was pissed off at me for not having my dog on a leash.
So my point of telling you this story is to show you the craziness of our minds and how our egos can create stories that totally convince us we are right when in all actuality were are dead wrong and super ridiculous.
I will say, I felt like a total jackass.
This whole time I have been carrying this negative belief and holding on to an unproductive, low vibrational energy for no good reason.
One of the best books I’ve ever read was called The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz. It’s the shortest book ever yet the most profound. One of the four agreements is to not ASSUME. It kills many relationships, opportunities, and joy.
Here I was breaking one of the four agreements, ASSUMING, which did kill my joy and opportunity to connect with a good soul.
I can laugh about this now. And, to be real, I’ve done this countless times.
The other lesson from this story is this….
When your mind feeds you something negative, check in with yourself. I guarantee you, this is coming from your ego, from your fear, from a negative belief you’ve had about you. My old negative pattern of always feeling rejected was coming through.
This belief creates the negative filter I’m always looking from. So when little stupid things like that woman avoiding the side walk happens, my old pattern tries to see the situation as a rejection to prove that my belief is correct. It’s all from my subconscious mind.
Anytime you feel bad, this is a clue that it’s most likely not true. Again, check in with yourself and see if an old negative pattern is being triggered and creating the filter.
If you get a chance, you’ve got to read this book, The Four Agreements, and know the other three. If you could live your life with these simple agreements, your life will be bliss.
Now it’s your turn to share. When have you assumed the worst of somebody only to find out you were dead wrong? And, did this assumption stem from a belief pattern you are holding onto? A possible negative filter? Share in the comments below.
Thank you for being her with me and always remember to be you, to be real and to be bold.