When I was in the dating game (years ago), I was meeting the same kind of men over and over again. Men who had massive issues. I kept bringing them to me like a magnet.
They all seemed to have had the same qualities and traits: massive manipulators, control freaks, master mind game players (did the whole ‘not calling you back thang’ for leverage) huge criticizers, major judgers, crazy party animals, inability to accept responsibility or accountability and emotionally and physically abusive.
I always felt the rejection and eventually heartbroken.
Until one day, I could no longer take the pain and I shut down. My body did too with an unknown illness.
But this was a good thing, you see.
It wasn’t until then (illness) that I began to do ‘The Work’ that changed everything.
I began to look at my reflection in the mirror as I noticed that I was the common denominator.
I learned of a fundamental truth, that which you see in another and that which hurts or bothers you, is just a mere reflection of who you are at your core.
Yeah, that feels like a ripped off bandaid, but it’s true.
All those men were reflecting who I was deep inside. Reflecting my pain, my inability to love myself, my inability to accept responsibility.
I too was critical, judgmental, partying like crazy, being abusive, manipulative and controlling.
Me and those men I dated, had no idea how to love anyone the right way.
The love we gave out was the exact love we gave to our selves.Anything you want out of another, anything you want to receive from another, must be given from… Click To Tweet
Therefore, I had to take responsibility and accountability for what I had created, for what I had put out into the universe and, for what I had RECEIVED.
This lesson did not only serve me in my intimate relationships, but in all aspects of my life.
If I had an issue with someone at work, then I first had to ask myself, “Well, what did I do to cause their reaction?” or if kept having the same issues repeatedly in any part of my life, then I had to be the one to look in the mirror and see who was the common denominator in every situation.
It was always me. It was my pattern stemming from my beliefs.
Looking for my part was never to blame myself or feel less than. But more so to understand what I was believing in that was creating what I did not want in my life. It gave me awareness and a knowingness that I’m fully in control of my life and that I am the ultimate creator of all that I experience .
It was liberating to know that if I did not like what I saw, then I had the power to change it.
Awareness is Power.
This is how you change your life.
This is called ‘taking accountability’.
This is being the ultimate, powerful creator and being in control of your life.
Okay, I think you get my point.
Do me a favor, look at your reflection in the mirror and tell yourself “I love You and You are doing great”.
And always remember to be you, to be real and to be bold.