I’m going to be real here….
most of us are full of crap, including myself.
I”m talking about being full of excuses. Let me explain…
The other day, as I was trying to create, to write, to express what my soul wanted to say with my hands on the keyboard of my computer, I lost my willpower.
‘Cause while trying to type, I kept having to get up and chase after my six month old son. He’s into everything and, if I don’t keep a hawk’s eye on him he’ll hurt himself. I love him dearly and he’s a lot of work. By three o’clock I’m exhausted.
As I started to complain to my husband, he got all over me about hiring someone to help. His tone (harsh and cray, cray) triggered me so I came right back at him with the response “I would but you complain about the price of the nanny so I don’t bother getting help. I don’t want to hear it.” He then began to yell. His words “stop being a victim” came right back at me. It stung. I felt heat rising inside of me. Almost rage.
He then went on and said “if you want to write, to create, to make your dreams come true and you want it that bad, you would find a way, be resourceful and not a victim.”
Now, I was really pissed off. We started a yelling match and I ended up in a hotel with my son.
Totally wasn’t necessary, but I’m drama sometimes.
It wasn’t until I began sharing with my girlfriend the details of our argument that I discovered what truly transpired. I swear I always figure out my sh*t by just talking about it.
I was so triggered because he exposed my crap.
He’s right! (Dammit)
And I guess, deep inside, subconsciously, I knew it was true.
If I really and truly WANTED something, then nothing and I mean nothing would get in my way. Not even issues with the nanny, the baby, money, husband’s support, etc.
If I truly WANTED my dreams to happen, then I have to make it happen. And I have stop waiting on anyone to help me. But now the real truth bomb as to why I’m full of excuses ….ready?
Okay, here it goes.
I’m afraid of my light, my potential. Yep, as much as I have owned my light and changed my life up to this point, I’m still afraid at times to release my creativity and afraid when I’m being called to ‘level up’.
Being in your light, your power, exposes you to the world. People can see you and, it leaves you vulnerable for judgment, criticism and rejection.
I’ve leveled up so much and loved what I’ve created but I want more. And still, ’til this day, I deal with this fear of not being good enough.
My WORK not being good enough.
I can’t believe this old belief still haunts me.
But I have a choice now, and that choice is to make a decision. A decision of…’do I began to do me and release what’s inside of me or hide behind the fear, blame, nanny, baby, husband don’t support me, I’m too exhausted excuses?’
If I want to see the success I crave then I have to make decisions that are in alignment with what I WANT and not what I fear.
So, I wrote this blog a few hours after the explosive argument with my husband. I DECIDED to release my WORK and CREATIVITY by sharing this insight with you. I’m doing me even though I’m afraid of my light and, I stepping into it no matter what.
So let me ask you…
What are you dying to create and share with the world but afraid of it not being good enough? Afraid of the rejection, judgment, criticism? What do you see others doing and so wish you were there doing it too?
What is your soul CALLING you out to do?
And what’s really stopping you?
Be real with yourself.
I want you to know this massive truth…your creative genius, whatever it is, is ‘good enough’, you’re good enough. Release who you are, share your gifts, share your genius, start creating the life you deserve today.
‘Cause let me tell you something,…no one, and I mean no one is judging you as bad or as critical as you think they are.
It’s YOU that is harshly judging YOU.
It’s YOU who is stopping YOU.
And the longer you wait to get out there, the longer you wait to be happy and be who you were born to be.
Thanks for being here with me and always remember: Be You, be Real and be Bold.
Would love to hear from ya, so please leave a comment.
PS. Here’s what’s happening right now…I’m opening time more time with me. Hit me up at info@mabelrodriguez. la to connect.