I had my hair blown out the other night (at the DryBar) by this adorable young man. As I sat there getting all glammed up, we got into a conversation about dating.
So, I told him my story of how years ago, I used to have issues in my romantic life and how it was a total s*hit show.
But now, I have completely transformed my life and am happily married with a beautiful son.
He chimed in saying he wanted the same thing too, but is afraid to date due to his painful experience of being burned so many times and, is afraid to trust again.
So this is what I had to say about his whole situation.
- We can’t live in the past. Yes, this is easier said than done but it’s true. This young man is still living in fear, in the past and not trusting anyone. If he continues to live in the past, then he can never live in the present. He’s not giving himself or anyone a chance for a fresh start.
- We have a choice in the present moment, to redo and create whatever we want to experience. So my advice to him was to let go of the past and tell himself he is going to give himself a redo. He has to POWERFULLY CHOOSE TO LET GO AND START FROM A CLEAN SLATE as if the past never happened.
- He kept saying he doesn’t trust anyone and BELIEVES he is going to get his heartbroken. So his words were negative. Clearly this young man has so many fearful beliefs. So, let me tell you something…
Your Words Create Your World
And your words come from your beliefs.If you want to change what you see, you've got to change your beliefs. Click To Tweet
If he keeps getting hurt, then it’s his beliefs, not the men, it’s him (common denominator) who’s creating this. He’s got to be aware of what he is saying, catch it, then switch it around.
He needs to switch his words from “I do not trust men and I’m afraid of getting heartbroken to “I trust men and know they are loving and honest and, are capable of loving me the way I deserved to be loved.”
This takes supreme awareness and willingness but, I swear by this, it will change anyones’ life around.
So, recap, let go of fear, choose to redo from a PRESENT and loving space, and pay attention to what you say as your words are coming from your beliefs. And, whatever you believe, you’ll see.
Most of the experiences we have in life that don’t create what we want are all stemming from fear. Trust that only love is real and you’ll see your life transform before you.
Choose love not fear.
And remember to be you, to be real and to be bold.
PS. What negative/fearful beliefs are you holding to that are creating experiences you don’ want in life?