How To Stand Up For Yourself Even When You Are Afraid Of Rejection?

I believe we all struggle with speaking our truth.

And, I believe it’s ’cause we think we NEED people to like us, to want us, to accept us AND,

not reject, or criticize or abandon us.

However, we do this at a cost.

That cost being we get hurt, disrespected, angry and feel like we lost something

Well, we did lose something… we lost who we really are, how to love ourselves, to honor ourselves and how we truly deserve to be treated.

We do this ’cause we are seeking love outside of ourselves and, to be real here, that pathetic treatment we receive isn’t even love in the first place…HELLO

I used to be that girl who allowed herself to be treated poorly, disrespected.

In relationships, there would be times when I didnt like the way I was being treated but I hesitated in saying anything, hesitated having boundaries, hesitated standing up for me, which meant I wasn’t being me.

I was afraid that if I did I would be rejected but, guess what, I was already being rejected if you think about it.

Not only by them, but by myself for not having my own back

When we don’t show people how we deserve to be treated then they will not know how to.

One must have boundaries, must be true to oneself.

You do this by following your heart. You’ll know how you wanted to be treated and don’t have to second guess yourself. You just know by asking yourself, ‘How is this person’s actions making me feel?”

If the answers is bad, then speak the hell up. Be strong, show your strength, show them how you DESERVE to be treated without the fear of any consequences.

I remember the moment I finally stood up for myself. See Video

I was being trained by this guy from my gym. He was going through massive shizzle with his wife, divorce I believe, anyway, him and I became friends since I too, was going through a breakup. We easily shared our woes together.

One day, he asked if I wanted to meet for dinner. He needed someone to talk to since his wife left him. Part of me already felt like this wasn’t a good idea but I too was lonely and sad. And, to be honest was pretty tired of have having dinners all by myself.

So he came over but the weirdest thing was he asked if he could shower. I was like, huh?!

Even though I was uncomfortable, I still agreed to it. He then came out of the shower into my living room with a towel wrapped around his waist. Okay, now, I was way uncomfortable.

He then opens my fridge. By then I started to get really pissed off.

So here was my opportunity to say something and, guess what?

I didn’t.

I still went to dinner with him AFTER everything that had happened. And, to be real here, he was the worst  company.  His energy was weird, depressing and bringing me down like China town.

I was so over it that I walked home alone even after he offered to walk me back.

I couldn’t sleep that night. I tossed and turned.

I was mad at myself for not saying anything. For allowing it. For being so pathetic and desperate for company, for attention, for acceptance that I sold my soul.

By day two, I could not take it anymore and so I texted him in super detail how wrong he was, how inappropriate, disrespectful he was.

It didn’t matter anymore whether he would talk to me again, whether he would reject me, or make me feel bad or guilty.

It just didn’t matter anymore.

And to my surprise, guess what happened….

He APOLOGIEZED.

Right then, I knew I had finally learned to stand for myself, to honor me, to speak my truth, to have boundaries and, to trust that if I’m feeling something, thinking something, then I need to say something.

Our voice is our power.

All this meant that I loved me and was willing and ready to show the world how I am supposed to be treated.

It all had to start with me. The universe is just a reflection of what’s inside of me, of what I allow for myself, of what I believe I am worthy of.

Honor you, set your boundaries, show people how you DESERVE to be treated ’cause you are worthy of that.

Yes, you are. Own that. Be that. Emanate that.

Speak your truth. Have your own back. Love you

And remember: Be you, be real, be bold.

xo

mabel

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