I remember a time when I was walking down the hospital hallway on my way to help with a surgical procedure, I would be stopped by a pulling sensation in my gut. It was as if there was some sort of energy being pulled out of my stomach. It made me uncomfortable.
Soon after about three months, I started to have gut issues. I couldn’t go to the bathroom, (I know, TMI, but I’ve got to be real) I started to gain weight and have stomach pain when I would eat.
Fast forward, I was a hot mess. Super sick, depressed, full of anxiety, insomnia and feeling helpless and hopeless.
I had no control over my life.
I would wake up every morning wondering “How did I get here?” I mean, how in the hell did my life end up such a wreck?
I had no idea how to turn it around. I had lost my old life and was in mourning.
But guess what?
I did die.
I laid to rest my old life. The life that did not serve me. The life that was hurting me.
The life of confusion, pain, insecurity, doubt, powerlessness, anger, hate, envy, uncertainty and lack of love for myself.
What I was going through was the death of the old Mabel…
The one who lived a life of chaos
Who didn’t own her power, her truth
Who didn’t love who she was
Who tried to fit in instead of standing out
Who was being inauthentic with the world and most importantly with herself
Who lost her soul and became attached to her ego
Who believed she wasnt’ lovable (by the way, my name means lovable, Hello)
Who believed she wasn’t good enough
Who believed she wasn’t smart enough
Who believed she had nothing to offer the world.
Yes, I was like a catapiller in my cocoon going through my metamorphosis and, on my way to becoming a butterfly.
My life was in chaos and, the moment I realized that I had brought it upon myself, that I had created it…
I became free. I found my power. I found my wings.
Just before I was feeling those weird sensations in my gut, I was in a terrible relationship. One in which I had no self respect, one in which I never spoke up for myself or demanded to be treated with honor, love and respect.
Instead I just took it all. I ALLOWED myself to be treated poorly.
I ALLOWED it because I didn’t think I was worth more. I felt this was the best I could do and the most I deserved.
I gave away my power by not honoring and standing up for myself.
Our solar plexus chakra, which is our energy center, (if ya don’t know about chakras, you’ve got to look it up on google. It’s much to long to explain here) is where our power comes from. It’s our fire. Where our beliefs come from, judgments, confidence, personal power, our will and our ability to take responsibility for our lives.
When we are out of alignment with all of the above then it means..
We are not taking responsibility for the life we are experiencing
We are not feeling confident
We are living with negative beliefs about ourselves and others
We don’t have loving relationship with ourselves.
And when all of the above is going on, then we are not in alignment with who we really are at our core. This is when we experience issues in the region around our digestive system, which is what happened to me. Some of us may not experience theses physical issues, however, you may be dealing with massive drama in your life which may unfold in different ways such as:
Loss of a job, bad relationships, bankruptcy, illness, divorce and whatever other telenovela situations.
The main purpose of our solar plexus is to provide actual momentum towards the direction of our dreams, personal desires and intentions. When this is broken down, it will be so damn hard to create anything you truly want in life.
When I finally fully OWNED what I had created and no longer victimized myself…I healed.
Nothing feels more powerful, more liberating the moment you get why you came to earth.
One of my favorite quotes is by Mark Twain “The two most important days of your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
When I finally accepted that I am a creator and fully loved everything about me, I found my passions, my gifts my purpose in life.
Mark Twain is right and the shiz niz, these are the two most important days of your life and when you start to live in alignment with your gifts, your passions and your purpose, take full responsibility for what you create, then you will feel limitless and find your power.
Keep growing, keep owning your truth and loving you.
Always remember to be you, to be real and to be bold.