One night I took my mother out to dinner and focused closely on the story she chose to share. It was the same old story regarding her past trauma. The story of how her grandmother was cruel to her; how her mother left her at the age of five; how her stepfather was mean to her and, the real kicker: my father. She loves to tell everyone how he didn’t support her by helping to pay for my medication when I was sick as a child (they had been divorced).
I’ve heard this story over and over again: It’s old and depressing.
Not one person at that dinner table enjoyed the story and, as a matter of fact, it created an uncomfortable energy and made her look crummy for putting my father down. I asked her why she kept repeating that story over and over again especially since it’s happened so long ago. I expressed my disenchantment with her share as it made my father come off as some douchebag. In that moment, she began to tear up as she said, “Because it still hurts me.”
With that response, I had a massive epiphany: She was crystallized.
My mother was still stuck in the past and recreating this pain over and over again. Clearly, my father isn’t doing it to her anymore: this happened over thirty years ago and her childhood stories happened about fifty-five years ago. She is the only one replaying the story over and over again like a broken record.
It’s so important to pay attention to those around us. As the old saying goes, “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree”. In this MabelOnTheReel episode “How our painful stories hold us back in life”, I share the invaluable lesson my mother taught me that night and how I discovered what’s held me from creating the life I truly desired. I will show you how to know if you are stuck in the past and how this could possibly contribute to the lack of fulfillment in your life.
Now, it’s your turn to share. Once you watch the video, tell us where you hold on to your past, what story you are repeating and what you are doing to create an energy of victimization.
Thank you for hanging out with me and sharing the journey.
Keep the dream alive,
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