I just celebrated an amazing birthday with my husband; however, it wasn’t always so great. It was pretty jacked up back in the day.
I remember feeling lost and unfulfilled on my 32 birthday. I was dating this guy whom I absolutely had zero interest in. I didn’t love him nor did I want to be with him.
So why was I with him?
I was with him ’cause I didn’t know how to be by myself. I was afraid to be alone. I figured it was better to be with anyone then myself.
I was wrong.
IT WAS WORSE.
I remember feeling like the life I was living was not mine. I was so unhappy and didn’t know who I was, what I wanted and how to change it.
Have you ever had that feeling? That feeling that the life you are currently experiencing feels like an imposter?
You wake up everyday and nothing has changed. It’s the same old shiz every day.
You want it to change so badly but you feel as though you can’t. That feeling is a feeling of powerlessness and, if you don’t do anything about it, it will start to gnaw at you (that’s if it already hasn’t done so)
So, let me tell you what led me into a dead-end alley.
It was my lack of knowing the most profound truths about myself.
I am a creator. I have this massive amazing ability (as you do too) to use the power of my mind and heart to have anything I want. This is the real deal here.
I had two things going against me at the time.
1. My heart was shut down. I wasn’t living life, I was just surviving it. Since my heart was shut down, I was unable to feel any love. When you can’t feel love, you can’t feel Spirit/God. I was disconnected to this universal supportive energy that is here to guide me. I was disconnected to my intuition. You see, I shut down my heart to protect myself from feeling, but when I shut down from feeling pain, I shut down from feeling love too. You can’t pick and choose. Closed is closed.
2. I was using my mind as a weapon and not the gift that it is. Meaning, I was allowing my greatest fears, my subconscious mind to create my precious life. I was on default mode. I had no idea how unconscious I was. I was living my worst nightmare and not knowing that I was the one creating it. I had to take responsibility for it and not victimize myself.
I began to understand that once I opened my heart, I could feel love again. Not just love for the world, but most importantly, the love for myself. Once I was truly able love all of me, I began to accept every single piece of who I was. And, once I did this, I peeled off all the layers of negativity, and layers of judgement for myself for not being good enough. This allowed me to see who I was born to be, what I had to offer the world and my GIFT.
Once I started to use intention and focus on what it was I wanted from a place of love, I began to change my life around from one of misery, default status, to one of bliss and fulfillment.
I no longer imprisoned myself with my closed heart and fear based mind.
I began to believe I was worthy of a better life and that I COULD do it and HAVE it.
Open your hearts, bring back all the pieces of yourself that you have rejected so you can come back to your roots. And, so you can truly see the gift that you are and your purpose in this lifetime.
Trust me, it’s worth it.
Always remember to be you, to be real and to be bold.